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Monday, December 8th, 2003
2:05 am - Where The Buffalo Roam
Who are we to judge? How will we know what makes us happy tomorrow, much less years from now? We plan for the future and try to secure a life that we can feel comfortable in farther along life's journey, but are we really presumptuous enough to think we'll *know* what we want in 5, 10, or 20 ellipticals around the sun? Why do we even try? If our futures are as nebulous and inconstant as we so often decree, what arrogance must we summon to ask someone else...

To.

Share.

It.

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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
9:37 pm
Your heart is brown.

You are an intelligent, sentient horse. You are not in love because you will never find love, for you are the only horse of your kind. Sorry.

What Color Is Your Heart?

brought to you by Quizilla

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Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
4:31 am - Overanalysis Over A Nemesis
Don't sweat the small stuff kid. And I mean you, not the goats, they're doing just fine.

In other news, the new Dido album is delightfully sparse.

Like Peter Sellers.

Or Scandinavia.

It is a treatise on proper manners concerning instrumentation and arrangement in the domain of pop orchestration.

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Monday, June 2nd, 2003
2:22 am - Symptoms Include Shortage Of Breath
...there are no words to express...


She is beautiful.

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Wednesday, May 21st, 2003
2:53 am - Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
A lot of activity around here lately. I think they're clearing out room for another sheep pen or something, I'm not sure. Further updates as events warrant. Clop.

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Monday, May 19th, 2003
10:31 pm - I slept it off.
Oh the wondrous strange and auspiciously analeptic magiks of slumber.

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Sunday, May 18th, 2003
11:48 pm - Sickly Cyclic
The sun has set and the moon has alighted upon its celestial pedestal once more, and no answer for the perception of impending activity I felt yesterday. Clop. I guess it's back to life as we once knew it; maybe the currents of desire run a cyclical course with swells of emotion without consequence... of reaction without action. I'll sleep it off.

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1:19 am - Lunar ellipse
Supposedly, right before lightning strikes your hair stands on end, because the energies in question are already forming a corridor that the strike itself just has to funnel through. I feel like my entire life is standing on end. I feel like something is already here, or something has always been here, and I'm just about to make the connection. I don't know. I'll write as soon as I sort this out.

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Tuesday, May 6th, 2003
2:51 am - Not yet...
...but soon.

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Tuesday, November 12th, 2002
6:01 pm - Finally
This young quartet is going places, just you watch.

Best band in the scene.

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Monday, September 30th, 2002
3:25 am - Perhaps Petitioning Poultry Progress
Alright, I had a thought...

The Rooster.

He's loud, if not much else. Maybe I'll just have to start a cock-rock band. I think I'll make my way over to the pen at some point tomorrow...

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Thursday, September 26th, 2002
3:49 am - I would sing, but I'm a little horse.
Oh my goodness, sometimes I tickle myself to no end. I'm going to be honest with all of you, the band scene isn't looking good at this point. I tried to round up (no pun intended) some of the other animals just to try some BGVs, but they just don't seem to have the enthusiasm I do. Alas, I fear that I'm forever sentenced to be a reverberating vessel for the songs that eternally echo within me, never allowing those transient ballads the escape requisite for their fruition.

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Tuesday, September 24th, 2002
5:41 am - The Giddyup Kids
I want to start a band. I know there are a lot of challenges ahead of me, namely being a horse, clop, but I feel that I've got what it takes, that I've got the "chops," if you will. I don't even care if I reach the status of renowned international troubadour, I just want to get a group together and put down some songs. Unfortunately, my last soiree with a strnged instrument was a disaster to the Nth degree (Read the March 6th entry), and I don't really know any people that well besides Karen, and it's not like I could communicate with them anyways. Cloppity. I guess I'll just hum some Dredg tunes to myself. Cover bands must be acceptable when you physically *can't* write...

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Monday, September 9th, 2002
10:38 pm - Imsorryilldoanythingtomakeitrightexceptfallinlovewithyou
You know, I never really take it upon myself to think that I'm more gifted or more blessed than any of the other animals here just because I can type and all that jazz. Sometimes they get that impression, that I hold myself above them, but it's just an impression. If it's not my actions but their reactions that create a perception, whose fault is it if that perception isn't a good one? They always seem to be just fine with me until something goes wrong for them... fairweather fairweather...

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Thursday, July 25th, 2002
3:05 pm - Seriously now.
When Karen can't make it out to the stables on any given day, they send out this dullard named Chad to fill up my trough and do a couple of the other minor but essential tasks around my humble abode. He knows my name. He knows my stable name and my show name. He insists on calling me Mr. Ed. Let's be serious for a moment folks; this displaced nomenclature is niether an insightful or witty piece of cutting edge humor. That would be like me calling him "Jesus" or "Hitler" just because they're among the most prolific celebrities of the species. He seems to enjoy it, so if it makes his day that much brighter then whatever, but his new nickname is Virgin Mary.

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Saturday, July 20th, 2002
2:56 am - Cosmology primer... barnyard theses never get respect.
Have you ever really sat down and tracked one single star as it marches across the celestial curtain? Clop? I get a chance to see this firsthand all the time because there's one crack in my stable's roof that's big enough to get a good view of a small section of starfield. I write about this alot because it's a very cathartic every single day when the sunlight terminator overtakes Dallas, I'm always in the stable by then watching those pinpricks of light fade out of obscurity as the sunset drifts through it's fiery rainbow into blackness. Cloppity. So I get one stationary view of space but it's always on the move. I know I'm just a horse and I've got bigger problems to worry about than this, but it boggles my mind almost every night. Why is the *sky*, something so vast and of infinite depth that it's not even really an *object*, on the move? Is it possible to wrap any mind, human or horse, around the concept that we're really on a rock that at the equator is screaming around at over 1000 mph? Imagine grabbing a fist-sized clump of dirt, tossing it through the void, and having an evolved society rise and fall before it hits the ground. And in addition to that, then it's whipping around the sun at 30 km a second. If you were floating in space between galaxies, depending on the time of day, someone on earth would look to you to be moving at up to 1000 km a second all things considered. Cloppity clop. So if I spend so much time ripping through the universe at a million miles an hour, why is my life so... still? If we're all on that clump of dirt hurtling through the air, you'd think we would be motivated to do more than just lie back and enjoy the silence. Somewhere out there I know there's excitement, even if here the world is silent enough to echo my tears when they sprinkle and fall to mingle with the dew.

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Friday, July 12th, 2002
10:57 am - Down In The Park
Clop. I think it's been a week or so since my last entry; evidently I had some sordid variant of horse-flu and spent a great deal of that time in the infirmary. As a stable horse I do alot of standing around in one place, don't get me wrong. But when a show animal is sick, you have amounts of unadulterated downtime that surpass normal levels with a bullet. So, as per the norm, I got to do alot of thinking. Clop cloppity. I keep thinking about the Gloria Record (I know, I know) and how they always sing about one form or another of wasting your life on things you're trained to believe matter but end up being inconsequential in the end. I think if there ever was a corporeal manifestation of this idea it has to be me. But there's not exactly much I can do. Run away and fend for myself? All I've ever known is here, all of my friends (however non-sentient they may be) are all here, Karen is here, my home is here. But sometimes I feel so unchallenged, you know? Cloppity? Not challenge as in a new hobby to conquer.... I'm evolved for the fight to survive, and now that humanity has taken natural selection out of the loop it's like a million years of design are now being wasted as I sit confined within the structure of my existence. I think "alas" has always just been a poetic sigh, so I think it's pertinent here: but alas.... clop......

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Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002
4:10 am - Riddle me this...
I admit, I stole this from Vanessa. I'm a bad horsey.

To Start
1) Starting time: 4:11 AM
2) State your name: (Stable name) Horsemo (Show name) Angst in Strange Tunings
3) Location: Bartonville, Texas
4) Email: No internet correspondence yet, clop, I haven't needed it thus far.
5) Nicknames: Horsemo, horsey, baby, sugar. (Karen calls me pretty much everything under the sun, but I would be remiss to list it all here.)
6) Eyes: Black as night
7) Hair: Golden brown, random ministrations of white.
8) Pets: I sort of am one, if that counts.
9) Siblings: I'm.... I'm not sure.

HAVE YOU EVER
10) Been so drunk you blacked out: That would be far more difficult than the potential rewards in my case.
11) Taken any illegal substances: I accidentally ate fertilizer once. It was an accident.
12) Set any body part on fire: Again, if I could manage to do this, I would have grander goals in mind.
13) Won any awards: So many show awards, but all so empty...
14) Killed anybody: I would cry and cry and cry until the wellspring of my tears washed me away entirely. Clop.
15) Kept a secret from someone: Not much drama to whisper about here.
16) Had an imaginary friend: I *am* an imaginary friend in a way to Karen.
17) Been in love: I've been in love with the idea of being in love for as long as I can remember, but I just haven't met her...
18) Cried during a movie: Never seen one.
19) Had a crush on a teacher: Oh yes. And there's only been one.
20) Planned your week based on the TV Guide: I saw a television at a show once. I didn't realize it was monitoring me though until after I relieved myself on the showfloor. That was embarassing, let me tell you. I would have blushed had I not been a horse.
21) Prank called someone: That would just be rude!
22) Been fired from a job: One time Karen wanted to train me as a jumper, but I couldn't do it very well. I don't know if that counts or not. Cloppity.

FAVORITES
23) Shampoo: I don't care what the shampoo is, but when Karen massages my mane like she does... O how I do wish she were a mare sometimes...
24) Soap: See previous answer.
25) Color: Black as night.
26) Song: She Talks To Angels - Dashboard
27) Summer/Winter: Summer summer summer, to dance across those verdant fields. I was born to it.
28) Day/Night: This one is hard. I see Karen during the day and I'm usually out in the fields during the day soaking in this life, but at night clop the stars cloppity come out, and there's something about those distant pinpricks of light that at once dwarfs you and envelops you all at once...
29) Lace/Satin: Leather.
30) Character: Black Beauty.
31) Saying: You can lead a horse to water...
32) Food: Molichaff.

GENERAL QUESTIONS

33) Best friend?: Karen and my own somnolent dissonace.
34) Who is your most shy friend?: Somnolent dissonance.

IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS HAVE YOU
36) Cried: Yes.
37) Cut your hair: I don't do it, but it gets done. It's one of Karen's mane jobs! Oh, I'm so witty sometimes!
38) Worn a skirt: That's just silly.
39) Been mean: I truly hope not.
40) Been sarcastic: Well I always have kindof a long face.
41) Been overjoyed to see someone: yesyesyes
42) Talked to someone you have a crush on: I haven't really "talked" to much of anyone per se. I snorted and whinnied at Karen once.
43) Missed someone: yesyesyes
44) Hugged someone: I don't want to talk about it.
45) Kissed someone: The sky.
46) Fought with your parents: I wish I could.
47) Wished upon a star: Every dusk.
48) Laughed until you cried: I cried until I laughed once. It's cathartic.
49) Played truth or dare: Never.
50) Watched a sunrise/sunset: I have to watch something while waiting for my wishing star.
51) Gone to the beach at night: I've never seen the sea.
52) Spent quality time alone: ...
53) Eaten dinner: yeah i eat almost everyday, wow, eating, what a concept
54) Gone out lately: Just got back from a circuit.
55) Are you lonely: If e'er a question needed no reply, this is it.
56) Are you happy: I'm not *unhappy*, but hardly content.
57) Are you talking to someone online: Only my heart.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
58) God/devil: I don't even believe in belief.
59) Love: I believe in hope, and they are synonymous enough for me.
60) The closet monster: No. Closet.
61) Love at first sight: I suppose it's possible that an infatuation can develop into something more, but it's impossible to "love" at first sight.
62) Heaven/hell: They're both all around us. It's our choice.
63) Superstitions: Well... I do have a lucky horseshoe...

GENERAL QUESTIONS
64) What is your full name: Angst In Strange Tunings
65) Who named you: Karen's stablemaster.
66) Who are your parents: the I... don't know...
67) Last time you showered: The last time it rained.
68) Color pants you are wearing: That made me smile.
69) Song you are listening to right now: The music of the night.
70) What was the last thing you said online: The music of the night.
71) What is right next to you: The music of the night.
72) What is your computer desk made of: Desks are overrated, I've decided.
73) Last 4 digits of your phone number: You know I'm not sure.
74) Last thing you ate: Barley.
77) Where do you want to go on your honeymoon: It won't matter, I'll have found all the world right there in my arms.
78) How's the weather right now: Miserable.
79) Where are you in ten years: Ten years is so far away for my kind.
80) What did you do last night: Sought the Perseus Arm.
82) How are you today?: Decidedly ambivalent.
83) How do you eat an oreo: I'll let you know.
84) What makes you happy: Making you happy.
85) What makes you sad: When I fail at 84.
86) Dream car: I just want a clean trailer.
88) What do you want to be when you grow up: In love.
89) Favorite Disney movie: Remember the whole television thing?
90) Favorite kind of music: ELO and EMO
91) Favorite kind of food: Molichaff and Deja Vu.
92) Favorite movie: Well by default I guess it would be the one of me defecating on the showroom floor, seeing as how it's the only one I've run across.
93) Favorite novel: Black Beauty.
94) Favorite day of 2002: The one I was too content to remember.
95) Do you like to dance? I like to prance.
96) Fast or slow: Slow.
97) Are you too shy to ask someone out: I'm too freaking *horse* to ask someone out.
98) Favorite name brand: Wrangler.
99) Worst feeling in the world: A broken heart, and having a red hot needle inserted into your eyeball to where you don't die of blood loss, but it gets your ocular fluids so hot they actually boils and burst backwards into your cranial cavity.
100) Best feeling in the world: Finding.
101) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: That would be humorous.
102) What will your first son's name be: Joy in Strange Tunings.
103) What will your first daughter's name be: Karen.
104) Loved someone so much it made you cry: ...
105) Favorite drink: Just water for me.
106) Does size really matter: As a horse, I don't feel compelled to address this subject.
107) Scary movies or happy movies: The one I've seen was pretty scary.
108) On the phone/in person: In person. I use the term lightly.
109) Lust or love: Love.
110) If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be: I would be a human.
111) Lucky all time number: 1
112) Favorite band/group/singer: Dashboard.
114) Favorite newscaster: N/A
115) Soccer or baseball: Here at the stable we have a much-depraved version of soccer that is actually pretty fun.
116) Guys or gals: Girls are so much nicer.
117) Paperback or hardcover: Hardcover.
118) Dogs or cats: Dogs and I have an understanding. Not so with cats.
119) Sean Connery or Roger Moore: I am the last one.
120) Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla!
121) What nationality are you: American, I suppose.
122) How many children do you want: I'm not picky.
123) Longest you went out with someone: A dream and a half.
124) Shortest you ever went out with someone: Half a dream.
125) Do you have a scanner: No.
126) Do you have a printer: No.
127) Do you have a soulmate: If only...
128) Are you getting sick of this: No but my laptop is.
129) What are your thoughts right now: There will be a day of reckoning with the flies.
130) Want friends to write back?: I want friends to write to in the first place.
131) Last comment: Don't fly so high.
132) Ending time: 5 in the morning.

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Monday, July 1st, 2002
4:02 am - Us in the Pegasus
What is the human preoccupation with wings and winged imagery? There's not exactly an imposing back catalog of equine literature to compare to, but in general we have no mythological obsession with the pegasus. Cloppity. In fact, that's just another example of the human application of subconscious imagery to conscious realization. Are angels real and humanity's desire to soar just lingering aftertaste? Or have people always shared the Earth with the beasts and angels are just manifestations of misplaced wanderlust? Clop clop? Personally, I have no desire to escape from the laws that shackle me to the land. All the great imagery of flying free above the clouds is always so... clopitty clop... lonely. It's one thing to triumph over one's limitations, but ascending so high you have to fall so far to share it with someone. I may be a horse on the outside looking in, but the day may come when humanity needs a Daedalus. Don't drift so high. Clop.

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Monday, June 24th, 2002
2:14 am - ceruleanblueandvirescentgreen
Every now and then when sol starts to filter past the clouds and the walls and my eyelids and my day becomes luminous once more as reality harasses me into another day I suffer an eidolon of overflowing and superfluous and inundated and overabundant sense and I can feel the siccity and broken caress of the hay and I can smell the madid blades of grass as they gently oscillate and buffet in the capable fold of the wind and I can hear it coast down to us from the heavens and Elysian reaches where it races to and fro through it's indesinent peregrination and I can taste the bitter reminder of the slumber so recently gathered and taken from me and I can see the colors and the colors are so vivid and luminescent and transcendent and the nitid aurora is almost too much before it starts to shimmer and coruscate under the aqueous hand of my conception and I almost feel as if my world and my vision are perhaps beginning to glimmer and dissolve like the oil of my perception across the water of my dreams. But it's just my world through the lens of a tear.

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